Kents Cavern – Meh

Deciding to take a trip to gold winner of the “best large visitor attraction in southwest England” on a rainy day, we pulled up to yet another pay & display car park, I mean Kents Cavern, and began the now traditional English holiday hunt around for change to feed into the ever-hungry meter.

We made 3 fatal flaws:

1) We took 2 toddlers into a cave which they could not escape from for an hour (cue friends being escorted to the toilets) in which they aren’t allowed to touch anything.The older kids (age 5 boys mostly) seemed to enjoy all the banter and flashlight holding.

2) Their website brags of many awards including amongst many: The Warmest Place in Britain on Christmas Eve 2010. I’m not saying this place doesn’t have some accolades – Britain’s First Human, a connection with Darwin which we could have heard a lot more about and 400 million years worth of habitation.It just felt a little devoid of any exciting features despite the friendly guide’s valiant attempts.

3) I come from Kentucky, the home of the world’s longest cave – 392 miles worth of bad-ass cave. Whilst I knew there would be no comparison, I didn’t expect to be quite so underwhelmed. After Weasel’s initial excitement at the lights on the cave walls, she soon grew bored.

Practicalities:

Changing Facilities: Check, and clean.

Food: Decent cafe with the world’s best value cream tea. We booked our tickets online in advance for a discount and added a couple of extra quid to throw in 2 scones the size of my head and a pot of clotted cream that would send my mother running for the loo to be sick again faster than you can say ‘dairy issues’. This was by far the best bit of Kents. Weasel and her friend split an adult’s mac & cheese with baguette and salad (haha!) for only £4.95 – cheaper than 2 kids meals that they were never going to eat more than a few bites of anyways. They do appear to make the kids sandwiches (which come in a normal box with drinks & treats) fresh, which is a nice change. We could have survived for days on the scones and leftover kids food for days, so didn’t need to order anything else.

Access: I doubt you could fit a pram down here, so it’s more of a walk/carry situation.

Verdict: Good if you run out of anything else to do if it’s pissing it down outside, but I’d probably not go until they’re slightly older.

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